Content and Conversation aka Word Vomit

Original Image Note: Lake Griffy, earlier on this year before the foliage busted out all over the place. I would like to go back down there now that it’s more greened out but we’ll see if that happens.

The creak that runs into the lake is just really beautiful, I love the color of it and with the colors of the slowly wakening forest it was beautiful. This is first of two images that go together titled, ‘Creak Monster Romance’, one of the top twenty places to take your creak monster sweat heart. A location that is sure to woe her and make her fall head over heels in love with you. This prime location is good for a number of reasons. Deeper water near by to hide from, a fair number of unsuspecting visitors around the water and in boats on the lake, and it includes a number of small water ways and marshy areas that are perfect for birthing baby creak monsters. The lake is also located in an area that contains large amounts of lime stone, a rock that creak monsters find quiet taste and is key in the growth of the young creak monsters after they are born.

V. Yes, the creek there on the right looks like prime territory. I like the green stuff and the way it ripples away in the distance.

J. I can just see a pair of googly eyes peeking up out of it, floating slowly closer to you.

Honey, is that a log?

Yes, of course dear what else would it be?

A few minutes later: It’s moving towards us… are you sure there aren’t any crocodiles in here?

Sweatheart we’re in the middle of the United States for crying out-loud there are no crocodiles or alligators up here.

What… what about that movie?

What movie?

Lake Placid.

Dear, that was a movie nothing more. It’s not real.

But that log… it really is getting closer.

Shall I poke it and roll it over for you? (rummages around for a stick) Will that make you feel better.

Honey it’s got eyes!

Finds a stick: Of course it does dear (pulls on stick and it doesn’t come up), just give me a minute over here. Wow that was one stubborn stick, I didn’t think I was ever going to get it up. (finally managed to break the stick with a well placed hiking boot and a strong arm) Now, dear I’ll show you it’s just a… log.

V. Oooh, how mysterious. I suppose it’s something for hauling stone? Out of a quarry? But wait! What is that long hose thing that’s being held up by three little beige benches!? Mysteries abound!

J. I think it’s a run off from the plant into the hole. But I’m not really sure, I didn’t get any closer to the water it was creepy.

V. Yeah, looks kind of creepy and maybe dangerous to go out too close to the edge there.

J. The water was all frosty and glazed over but some times the color was a little odd. It was quiet like something might come bursting out of it and gobble you up.

V. Oh hoho. I know what you mean… That suspicious color that looks a little too chemical… might harbor some radioactive beastie with glowing tentacles…!

J. Yeah, exactly that odd color. Like the bright green lakes in the middle of nowhere… I’ll have to stop and take pictures the next time I see one of those. I think the home owners have made made lakes and add chemicals to them to keep the algae from growing. They are the oddest color.

V. Yeah, I think they have lots of those in Florida! Reminds me of a news snippet I saw about blue water pollution in China from blue-jeans factories… Hmmm…

J. Is the water the same color from the pollution or does it just tie in?

V. ust ties in, I guess. The water turns blue, like jeans…

J. And then when you start getting into colored jeans you get some really interesting stuff.

V. Mmm, yes… The “rainbow waters” of China. We could make a whole tourist trade out of it.

J. Ahahha, the new eight wonder of the word. Go for a swim and you might find yourself cured and able to walk again or you might find that you have a few extra feet and three legs instead of two. It’s a gamble and so many people would go for it.

This conversation was conducted on DeviantArt between my friend vanilla-vanilla and myself krazysidhe. For it and other conversations feel free to hunt around, we hope you’ve enjoyed today’s installment.

V. Squirrel? Looks like ghost of squirrel past.

J. Ah you know how those ghostly squirrels are, they just never got away and they are always chattering but you can’t quiet hear them. So most people dismiss the noise as nothing but really… it’s the ghosts of all those squirrels that get run over every year, they come back with a vengeance. But unfortunately their imaginary nuts, just really don’t have much impact on the people or the cars that they throw them at. Thus you end up with a lot of frustrated vengeful squirrels. Eventually they get rather tired of running around neighborhoods and play chicken with the cars that killed them in the first place—after all dead ghostly squirrels really aren’t that much smarter then living squirrels—they migrate slowly into the more wooded areas. They live in communes together in the forests and eventually one by one they fade. However, there is always more of them to replace the others—rather like the rabbits. After all they breed like bunnies there are always more of them… living or dead!

V. Oho, this is why there always seem to be more and more squirrels everywhere! Like my back yard, where they keep forgetting where they buried the nuts, so they have to look everywhere… Maybe you’ll run across a squirrel commune when you have your camera. After you take that picture of new batteries.

J. Ah but did you know the real reason that they forgot where their nuts where? That’s because all of the ghost squirrels, confuse the living squirrels so much that they can’t find their nuts. Because the dead ones know where they are but they are so frustrated that they can’t eat the nuts—they can’t even dig them up poor things. That they usually decide that if they can’t have the nuts then those who can actually eat them sure as hell aren’t getting a hold of any nuts.

V. Oh! I saw one yesterday afternoon. I was driving, and this tiny little juvenile squirrel darted into the middle of a busy street, then sat looking wildly about and turning in circles as cars zoomed in all directions, and ghost squirrels tried to pummel it with nuts…

J. Poor little squirrel, he so did not know what hit him. I can just hear all of the ghost squirrels cackling from the side walks. Because after they’re dead they are much smarter and quiet a bit nastier. At least most of them. I’m sure somewhere there is the few lonely little ghost squirrels who try and do good but their voices aren’t heard over the chatter of the others.

The second photograph has been edited by vanilla-vanilla. This conversation was carried out via DeviantArt, by my friend vanilla-vanilla and myself. Feel free to browse around this conversation and for others which may or may not appear here at a future date. I hope your day/evening is a good one.

V. Interesting view. Nobody around to witness… What was in the bins? Did you rummage through them? (I would have.)
Oh, wait there’s a pull-down fire alarm… Where’d everyone go?

J. Ones a recycling bin for paper and I think the other one was a trash can. There wasn’t much of anything in them. I just happened to go through there on a Saturday afternoon when no one was around. I really like the older buildings.

V. Yes, looks like a nice building. With nobody around, I probably would have peeked in the bins just to be sure they weren’t hiding any gremlins or anything.

J. I think the gremlins were playing around in the lecture all room with the swinging seats. After all they are about the size of a normal cat and they love to swing more then anything else. So when no one else is around they enjoy swinging on the seats in the lecture halls and most especially from the doors in the bathrooms.

V. Good time to be carrying your camera!!

J. Sploosh and there goes another one! Watch out here comes the next shower. And on another note today’s weather will be mostly sunny with a chance of randomly local showers, the ones that tend to fall in a two block radius inside. So remember folks don’t let that umbrella out of your sight.

V. Twilight Zone! Coincidentally, it’s been raining here in Santa Banana since the moment you posted this reply!

J. Hahaha, supposed to storm tomorrow night. It’ll be great. I got soaked in the last storm and it was brilliant.
Speaking of Twilight. On another note, I find it really quite amusing how many times I’ve seen the word ‘Twilight’ being used in naming things or in relation to things since the rise of the books. Yeah for advertising. ‘Midnight Twilight’, the prefect new tanning lotion. ‘Black Twilight’, the new perfect scent from Bath and Body works, get your own now! Hahah, there were more but I don’t remember them.

V. Hmmm, yes, that’s what happens when something gets popular: everyone jumps on the band wagon trying to ride the wave of coolness… Cool Twilight hemorrhoid cream anyone?

J. Now, that would be fantastic.

The second photograph has been edited by vanilla-vanilla. This conversation was carried out via DeviantArt, by my friend vanilla-vanilla and myself. Feel free to browse around this conversation and for others which may or may not appear here at a future date. I hope your day/evening is a good one.

V. Something nice and “crispy” about this picture, too. Hair of the beast that ate most of the thing that now lies beneath the snow?

J. Ah but you see, it’s vestiges of the weeds from the back of the creek monsters. In the snow and the ice he can make it just that far away from the creek. However, what he didn’t realize is that he sluffed off some of his concealing creek weed on the fence along the way.
Or perhaps it’s simply the little creatures who live in fences. They snuck down to the creak in the brightest light of the day—for that’s what creek monsters are slowest of course at least in winter—and carefully plucked creek weed from the back of the creek monster so as to frame him for that which lies beneath the snow. However, little do they know what all that lies beneath the snow is dead grass and nothing at all incriminating. So, instead of framing the creek monsters as they wish, because he enjoys snacking on the little creatures who live in fences when he can’t get hiker.

V. Ah, your folklore is getting richer, now populated with more little creatures… with ulterior motives!

J. Conflicting interests. But the poor little guys who live in the fence really must talk to the air headed creatures who live in the pine trees. You know sniffing those pine fumes all day, that’s really the best way to figure out what it’s all about.

V. !! I love it. Wow… Pine fumes. Hmm, reminds me of teenage years… Hmmm. I feel a picture coming on…

J. Climbing pine trees and getting the sap stuck all over your hands and never being able to get it off. Though it did smell rather nice.

V. Ah, haven’t done that for years. Near where I lived as a kid was a row of 5 or 6 enormous fir trees and we’d often climb into them, way up near the top, where you sway back and forth in the wind. Sometimes pretty scary; great views.

J. Yeah, pine trees can be great. I used to climb mango trees over seas, they had a similar sappy problem. But when left they could get ginormous, and made the best climbing trees. Sometimes on the biggest ones we couldn’t get up the trucks so we’d pull down the lower branches and climb up them. Mango’s aren’t overly strong but they bend quiet a lot before they break.

V. Oh, now I have to find a mango tree to climb!

J. You really should. Though I’m not sure how much luck you will have finding one in this country.

V. Yeah, I don’t think I’ve seen one, but maybe in Hawaii…

J. I think you would in Hawaii, though I can’t remember seeing one when I was there. That would be closer to the right climate though. Maybe it’s like most fruit trees they don’t tend to grow them in the cities or populated area’s because of the fruit mess. I haven’t been much outside of Honolulu, in a while.

V. Heheh, yes, the fruit mess. People around the neighborhood here tend to have orange and lemon and olive trees, and then instead of eating the fruit, they let it rain down and rot on the ground… I had an apricot tree that died a few years back, but when it fruited, it gave the best apricots in the whole wide world.

J. Yeah, I never understood the idea of having a fruit tree and not at least eating or using some of it. I know a number of people around here who have apple trees and they do that. We had a neighbor who had one and we’d made tones of apple sauce every year because she didn’t want the apples. I can understand having more then you can use yourself but to just let it all sit there.

V. I also have an apple tree, in front by the driveway. The fruit isn’t very good really, and we only eat a few each year… But not because it falls and rots. It never gets as far as falling or rotting. People come by in the middle of the night and steal it! Once last summer, I woke up in the middle of the night to some sound out front, and when I cracked the blinds to look, it was interesting. For half an hour I watched a woman with a flashlight going around the tree, picking apples and stuffing them into a bag. When it was full, she departed. Another time in the dead of night, I saw a family of people stop their car, all jump out, pick a bunch of apples, then pile back in and drive off. Jeez-o. If they really need the apples, they’re welcome to them!

J. Urban foraging. There is a map floating around of this city and where the fruit trees and berry buses are in town. Someone on one of the groups I’m on was complaining about urban foraging, that because of the amount of it, people aren’t leaving anything for the local wild life to eat.

V. Wow. I feel like a total dolt! It never even occurred to me. I guess it goes on here, too: [link] I guess my “old home town” Berkeley is a hot-bed of this activity. Who knew? Ha ha, maybe this is why all the ‘possums have disappeared. But the squirrels and crows seem to do well here with all the oranges. The back fence is always littered with orange peels dropped by plump squirrels who eat the innards and leave the husk.

J. *chuckles* It’s rather interesting. For instance I wouldn’t have thought about all of the smaller urban animals that rely on that as a food source. I was reading a conversation going on between some of the members of the local Permaculture group (email), [link] [link]

The second photograph has been edited by vanilla-vanilla. This conversation was carried out via DeviantArt, by my friend vanilla-vanilla and myself. Feel free to browse around this conversation and for others which may or may not appear here at a future date. I hope your day/evening is a good one.

Image Note: So, I couldn’t resist. I found this on my campus walk and well… It really rather does look like an Alien Egg, sitting on a stump just waiting to be hatched.

V. Wow! What a wonderful surprise it will be when it hatches! (Or maybe we don’t want to be hanging around?)

J. *sits on the ground in front of it and starts changing* Hatch, Hatch, Hatch, Hatch, Hatch, Hatch…

V. Yes, chant hard… But don’t sit too close!

J. I think I shall beat my hands on my knees and make faces at it.

V. Oh! In my crystal ball, I see… an indie film. The Dangerous Pastimes of Weavers… Make sure it doesn’t have a mother lurking in the trees.

J. With numerous musical numbers and really bad subtitles as of course the whole thing is in French.

V. Ah, lovely. Sounds like my kind of film, sort of…

J. It has potential but will it be realized or not? That remains to be seen.

V. Maybe someday a movie poster might be made, though…

J. What comes to mind is old school cover art for books or pulp fiction magazines. ^^:

This conversation was carried out via DeviantArt, by my friend vanilla-vanilla and myself. Feel free to browse around this conversation and for others which may or may not appear here at a future date. I hope your day/evening is a good one.

The Dreaded Human Addiction

V. Something lurking down there, but can’t quite tell what it is… Oh, wait! It’s moving!

J. Slowly inching it’s way beneath the snow…. it’s the river monster attempting in vain to escape from the confines of the river, to breath out while there is snow upon the ground because only then can he walk on dry earth. The snow creates a buffer layer between him and the cruel water sucking earth that would normally be fatal!

V. Getting ready to pounce, I’m sure! Or is he just dying for someone to read him a story?

J. That story was just so good, it made me so hungry that… well, I just couldn’t resist a little nibble and after a nibble, well you might as well go for the mouthful.

V. Exactly, that’s how monsters succumb to “human addiction”.

J. Ah yes the dreaded ”human addiction”, it is afflicting more and more creak monsters of late. Their natural food supply is simply diminishing and the tasty but addictive human’s are growing more and more abundant giving the poor creak monster little opption.

V. Another instance of human encroachment on wildlife habitat! Well, at least humans are edible, eh…!? And if they’re also addictive, well, that’s a great bonus! Helps cut down the human population and feeds the creek monsters…)

J. Only perhaps then we might end up with an over abundance of creak monsters and then were would we be? When their hunger and their addiction gets so bad that they try and creep out of the creaks more? In the winder when it snows enough to allow them to travel farther and farther from the safety of the water? Mmmm and the down fall of the human race has been found.

V. When the city streets and parks are crawling with creek monsters! Aaagh!

J. Lions, Tigers and Creak Monsters! Oh My!

V. :)

This conversation was carried out via DeviantArt, by my friend vanilla-vanilla and myself. Feel free to browse around this conversation and for others which may or may not appear here at a future date. I hope your day/evening is a good one.

Image Note: Recycling bin at school for drink cans and bottles. Among other things… apparently.

V. Ha hah… What!? Hey, dudes, who’s drinking the hydrogen peroxide!

J. Hahaha, that’s what I wanted to know. Along with all the alcohol on campus? Though that probably came from an opening event at the gallery down stairs, it still amused me.

V. Mmm, yes. The new martini? 2 oz gin, 1 oz vermouth and a splash of hydrogen peroxide?

J. It’s quiet nice, I had one the other night. It has a wonderfully fizzy after taste that kind of lingers in your mouth like rabies. I was quiet sure that Mr. I.P. Freely over there was going to kill over the first time his date started foaming at the mouth, it was really quiet impressive.

V. Wow! “lingers in your mouth like rabies” OK, whew. I had to cover my mouth to keep from spewing tea all over the monitor…

J. *evil grins* I must admit I was rather proud of myself when that line came out. It just worked wonderfully. Just don’t ruin your monitor that would be rather sad.

V. Yup, it was a great moment. Almost makes me wish I had been too slow with the hand-mouth coordination so I could have taken a picture of the spewage to post.

J. That would rather be funny in a sad kind of why, I must admit I was drinking coffee when I read that… tough, luckily I didn’t get so bad.

V. Yes!

This conversation was conducted on DeviantArt between my friend vanilla-vanilla and myself krazysidhe. It has not been edited or altered from it’s original form. For this conversation and others feel free to hunt around or wait here for more, we hope you’ve enjoyed today’s installment.

V. You know it’s lurking there, ready to grab any stray boots!

J. MUNCH!

V. Aaaagh! My $200 dollar boot! [dives in to retrieve the expensive snack…]

J. Do you make an even more expensive snack? How does your life compare in value to the half of a pair of $200 dollar boots?

V. Ah, OK, it took a couple of days to do the tally, and the verdict is… The boots are the most expensive part!

J. I don’t know i would think that the feet are rather more irreplaceable then the boots.

V. Turns out, however, that I have magical feet that keep growing back after being chewed off. Only they always grow back in pairs, so I always have an odd number of feet. This week it’s 7. I suppose I could even them out by having two chewed off at once, but that would still be odd.

J. Hahahah! Next time you should try and hand and see what happens with that. You may magically end up with an extra pair of helping hands for the trouble.

V. Ooh! Yes, then I’d have 7 feet and 4 hands, which would be a trifle odd…

J. Aye, it would be rather odd; however, it could be mighty useful as well, or they might just get in the way… I wonder if you could roll around on seven feet instead of walking. You’d probably end up going in circles and looking like a deformed clown balloon.

V. Wow! I’d almost like to try that, but people might be a little hesitant to approach me…

J. Ah but they would be so shocked and amazed by what you can do that their mouths would drop open all the way to the ground and their eyes would get big and round like dinner plates. Then you could roll up to them and go ‘Boo’ in a very small voice and they would fall over backwards. Thus you could approach them because they’d be in awe and unable to run away.

V. That would be quite a social advantage!

J. Not to mention always having a helping hand when you need it.

V. And helping feet, too. I would be a one-man dance team. Play two pipe organs at once.

J. You’d be a really great tap dancer and just imagine what you could do to the piano. I saw a duet one time that was two guys playing the piano at once, that was really neat.

V. Oh, yeah! Wow, I’d be like Fred Astaire, squared! Oh, and the piano… I’d be able to play all of the Schubert “piano, four hands” literature on my own… [Not sure if you know, but there’s a whole genre of piano music for two people at one piano; it was popular in the days when people had pianos in their parlors and everyone knew how to play, so married couples and sweethearts often played such pieces, I think…]

J. I actually didn’t know anything about that. But, I found that there was something very moving about watching two people playing together. There was something beautiful about it, even more then the dance piece that was going on—which wasn’t overly inspiring.

This conversation in it’s entirety took place here and was conducted by vanilla-vanilla and myself along with a number of others that may eventually find their way here.

V. A giant comb, and… Ooh, wait! What’s that!? One ultra-rare photograph of picnic tables mating… :-) Wow, do they allow this stuff on DA?

J. I don’t know. I think might have to put up a mature content warning on this one. I hadn’t thought of that until you said something. Amazing, I captured that moment without seeing the obvious… I wonder how big we can blow up the image, print it and plaster it around campus. Everyone will be totally amazed! They won’t know what hit them. Heheheheheh!

V. Great idea! Won’t the faculty be surprised…

J. Unfortunately, I’m afraid we might have to include diagrams to that people truly understand what is going on. Other wise they just might miss the awesomeness of the moment and that would really be sad.


V. Ah, yes, must include the detailed, educational diagrams without which any discussion of other-species mating rituals is so incomplete.

J. People get so bogged down in the details that they can not truly comprehend… after all most do still firmly believe that such objects are inanimate and thus incapable of such actions. That, I know a great many people when faced with such a truth have not been able to handle it.

V. But now, with your photos and diagrams, and the video out there on the net, they’ll just have to believe! It’ll open a whole new world.

J. And then no one will ever believe that I managed to do anything else with my life in the future. Because all they will remember is mating pick nick tables.

V. Oh, yes! You do not want to be one of those authors/artists who do one really big thing and then everyone forgets that they ever did anything else. Like Carl Orff. J.D. Salinger. Harper Lee. Pachelbel… ;-) So, I agree. Better to bury the mating tables, and let someone “discover” it after you’re gone. Then people will say, “Wow, that J did all of that and this fabulous undiscovered work, too!”

J. Of course then there is the risk that they will somehow try and name this variety of mating pick nick tables after you and that can be a rather scary thought as well.

V. ! :lmao: Oh, yeah! But that could be lovely, couldn’t it? Doesn’t every woman want to have a species named after her? ;-) (Hmm, OK, you have to wonder about guys who name gross little parasitic worms after their wives and stuff… I mean, a species of flower is one thing, but.)

J. “Honey, I’m home.”
Kiss, kiss, “Welcome home, sweatheart. What did you do today?”
“Well… I got a surprise.”
“Oh, what is it?”
“Here,” Hands a photo.
“Mmmm… and what is this little wormy thing?” Tries to sound polite and interested.
“That my dear, is the new species I named after you today. Isn’t it great,” Pulls out a wad of papers from his pocket, “See, I have a certificate of authenticity and everything. You my lovely are looking at the new form of fungus, the Mildred. Or as I call her Milly for short.”
Btw, on a side note these things are cool [link].

V. Yes! Exactly! The next frame is where she beans him with a frying pan! “Is that all I mean to you?” :crying: “Frank’s wife got a new rodent named after her…”
And those fungi! Ooh, they look so incredibly ALIEN! Wow! And to think some of them are only
down the road from Santa Banana. I might be able to see some in real life.

J. Poor Bob, he just couldn’t do much to please Mildred… besides it would’ve served her right to have a rodent named after her. Frank’s wife was much to pretty to be named after a rodent but ahhh a fungi. She would make a beautiful one.
I know aren’t they.

V. LOL, she would make a beautiful fungus…!

J. Fungi just have so much more class then those stinky pooping and eating little rodents.

V. LOL…!

This conversation in it’s entirety took place over here, and it was conducted between vanilla-vanilla and myself.